Why "Nice Guys" Finish Last
Before we get into this article I’d like to be clear about my definition of an online dating “Nice Guy”. You see there is a difference between a nice guy and a “Nice Guy”, while the former is a genuine person who is actually interested in getting to know you and understands that he is not everybody’s type, the latter is an entitled person that feels that just because they are “nice” to someone, that person is somehow obligated to sleep with him. Unfortunately, the online dating realm is overpopulated with these types of people; I say people because being an entitled jerk is not gender exclusive. While it does make sense why a lot of people would use the “Nice Guy” routine, there are still major flaws in their logic. So, let’s dive in...
Being entitled gets you nowhere
If you were to strip the “Nice Guy” routine down to it’s bare bones, what you would find is a misplaced sense of entitlement. You see, these people aren’t being nice out of pure altruism, they’re being nice because they want something from you. And when they don’t get it, that’s when they throw a tantrum and complain to anyone who’d listen about how women/men never appreciate a nice guy/girl like them. But here’s a news flash to all the “Nice Guys/Girls” out there, nobody, and I mean NOBODY, owes you a goddamn thing. Try being a genuine person and maybe you might find something more than what you were looking for.
People can see right through you
When someone is genuinely a nice person, you can feel it. You can see it in their eyes and sense it in their conversation. It’s the same the other way around. I don’t know about you, but when someone is being nice to me because they want something, I can tell. Believe me when I say, it isn’t difficult to distinguish the actual nice guys from the not so nice guys, especially online. If a person is nice only for a short amount of time before asking for things (i.e. photos, numbers, dates) and then throw a tantrum when you politely refuse, then you know which category they fall into.
Nobody likes a whinger
A major identifying characteristic of a “Nice Guy/Girl” is that they complain… a lot. And the complaints always run along the lines of “I can’t find anyone to date because I’m just too nice” or “Women/Men always say they want a nice partner but nobody ever wants to date me”. If this whining is weaved into conversations during the first date, it’s easy to see why someone wouldn’t want to go on a second.
So the lesson for today is that “Nice Guys/Girls” only finish last when they’re actually entitled jerks. If you’re a genuinely good person who still can’t seem to find a date, don’t fret. Just be patient and be polite and soon enough you’ll find the one you’ve always been waiting for. To be honest, you’ll probably find them on Jodi… so, sign up (if you haven’t already)!