Becoming "The One"

When it comes to love and dating, people are often consumed with finding “the One”. Fuelled by romantic “can’t live without you” love songs and endless hours of cheesy rom-coms, we tend to hold on tight to the belief that, one day, we will find that elusive “One”. But what’s never said (or rather sang) in these love songs, and what’s never spoken about in those rom-coms (thanks, Katherine Heigl) is the fact that maybe we’re focussing on the wrong thing. Maybe the One isn’t someone we should be looking for but rather someone we should aspire to be. Think about it, how can we expect to find someone who’s perfect for us when we don’t even try to be exactly that for someone else. I know, becoming the One is much easier said than done, but with a bit of bravery, a dash of vulnerability, a heaped tablespoon of unadulterated honesty, and of course the help of this how-to guide, you may find yourself well on the way to becoming (and finding) the One...

 

First, be honest about what you want and why you want it...

The very first step in your noble journey of becoming the One starts with figuring out what you want in a relationship. Are you looking for long-lasting, genuine love or just another warm body? Once you’ve decided what it is you’re looking for, you have to be honest with yourself and figure out why you want it. Are you wanting a relationship because you are lonely or because you are emotionally ready to be a part of someone’s life and to let them be a part of yours?

 

Then, fall in love with yourself...

It should be fairly obvious that before we try to find someone to love us, we need to learn to love ourselves. It’s always said that we are our harshest critics. We see our flaws, obsess over them and convince ourselves that they make us less of a person. When we have that kind of attitude towards ourselves, it shows. So be kind to yourself, forgive your past mistakes and embrace your isms; they are after all what make you uniquely you. Once you take this kinder approach to yourself, you’ll become a more positive, and as a result, a more attractive person.   

 

And finally, find something (other than love) that you’re passionate about...

Has this ever happened to you; you’re frantically looking for something and you can never find it, but the moment you stop looking for it and stop thinking about it, it’s everywhere? Well the same principle applies to finding the One. You’re young, stop wasting your youth searching! If you focus your energy on your passions, like your favourite sport or going to see the world, chances are you’re going to attract the right kind of person to you. And when they see how much of a passionate person you are, they’re going to want to get to know you, and without even trying, you’ll become their One.

 

Finding and falling in love is not like in the movies; it’s not easy and it doesn’t just happen. Love is a full time job and it takes humility and introspection to make it work. And if you’re ready for love, go find it on Jodi!