The Ghosting Phenomenon
In today’s world of online dating, where people have pretty much become disposable to each other, the phenomenon of ghosting has become more common than ever before. In fact, a recent study by Plenty of Fish revealed that a whopping 78% of single Millennials have, at one point or another, been the victims of ghosting. While the fast paced online dating world probably didn’t help extinguish this phenomenon, it didn’t start it either. Believe or not, ghosting has been in existence for a very long time and is actually quite an ancient practice; think dial-up internet ancient.
So, what is Ghosting?
No, unfortunately, it is not what happened to Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze in that cheesy 90’s movie. Ghosting is actually one of the many forms of breaking up. It’s telling someone you’re dating that you’re not really that into them without actually telling them. It’s the silent treatment to the umpteenth degree. Ghosting is basically a coward’s way out. It’s when the texts go unreplied, calls go unanswered and facebook messages go unseen. It is when someone you thought was going to be a big part of your life decides to take an emergency exit out of your life.
When does it happen?
Ghosting can happen anytime between the first few messages to the first few months of dating (if it happens beyond that, the ghost is probably just an ass). How much it hurts depends on when the ghosting happens; the sting is significantly less noticeable the less time you’ve invested into that person.
Why does is happen?
It happens because people hate confrontation. Nobody likes hearing the words “we have to talk”, and nobody likes the outcomes of said conversations. The fact of the matter is, people hate explaining why they feel a certain way mostly because it involves being incredibly vulnerable and honest; two endangered traits of this generation. Not knowing how the other person will react is probably another driving factor of ghosting; nobody wants to expose themselves to the possibility of being beaten. That, among other reasons.
How to tell you’re about to be Ghosted?
If the person you’re seeing suddenly becomes distant and cold for no obvious reason, it’s very likely that they’re contemplating ghosting out on you. If they’ve already started to make a habit of repeatedly and increasingly delaying responding to your messages, you’re probably already on the way to Ghost Town.
What can you do about it?
Well, you can either confront them or do absolutely nothing. That my friend, is the best way to deal with being ghosted. Sure, you can spend a couple of days, weeks or even months being angry and annoyed, but what good would that do you? Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and realise that he/she was just not that into you, and that there’s nothing wrong with that. Being a ghostee sucks, no doubt about it, but the best way to show that you’re the bigger person is just to move on with your life and leave the ghosts in your past, where they belong.
And don’t feel bad, even Sean Pean got ghosted out on (here’s looking at you, Charlize). Plus, if you’ve just been ghosted, get back on that horse and sign up for Jodi!