Be in a Relationship with Yourself First
There was once I came to a revelation about myself completely by accident. I realised, quite randomly, that if I were a person of the opposite sex, I would not date me. Not that this spoke volumes of the people that did decide to date me, however, I think it was more of a realisation that I, as a person, did not have the attributes that I would need to be in a fulfilling relationship with someone just like me. This thought than lead me to wonder if the dating world would be a much more productive and happy place if everyone within it would just date themselves first before committing to another person. So allow me to present my case with the following reasons why you should date yourself before dating anyone else…
1. You learn not to be lonely alone
Not a lot of people like being by themselves and many people stay in bad or toxic relationships a lot longer because of this very reason. They wait to find someone new/better to attach to before detaching themselves (ehem, also one reason why cheating happens). When you date yourself, you teach yourself to actually be happy in your own company. And when you’re in a happy relationship with yourself, not only will you be able to identify a bad relationship when you see one, you’ll also have absolutely no problem leaving it if you ever find yourself in one.
2. You get to really know yourself
If you’ve been one of those people that has shuffled from relationship to relationship since you were 14 years old, it’s likely that you don’t really truly know yourself. Besides being a reflection of your previous partners, you may have also been swayed by your family and even your friends. When you date yourself, you get a deeper understanding of who you are as a person outside of any relationships. Having this knowledge will help you make better decisions for yourself in every aspect of your life, not just dating.
3. You get to do everything you want
The simple truth is that with relationships comes compromise. You compromise where to eat, what to do, and sometimes even how you feel. When you date yourself first, you get to tick off all the things you want to do prior to becoming attached and potentially anchored by a relationship. And when you’ve done all you’ve set out to do, there will be a significantly smaller chance of you feeling resentful toward any future partners for getting in your way. It’s a win-win for everyone.
4. You learn what you really need
When you bounce from relationship to relationship, it’s easy to lose sight of what you really need to be in a fulfilling relationship. We, as humans, tend to get caught up in just wanting a warm body or someone willing to laugh at our lame jokes. But when you date yourself, you can understand what you’re missing and why you need it. This then will help you identify these traits in potential partners and eventually help you choose the right person to be with.
So there you have it, when you date yourself and eventually learn to love yourself, you’ll be surprised to find that potential partners will suddenly start showing up out of nowhere. That’s the beauty of loving yourself; when you start actually living your life instead of worrying about finding someone to share it with, love tends to happen easily.