Online Dating as an Introvert

As an introvert who finds social interactions not only daunting but exhausting as well, online dating doesn’t exactly come across as something appealing. What with having to put yourself out there, being so exposed, and having to make small talk with strangers, it all seems very scary. But depending on what type of introvert you are (yes, there are different types), there are several ways that online dating can actually work for you. So let’s dive in…


The Social Introvert

Well doesn’t that sound like an oxymoron? Actually, if you were to think of introversion as a spectrum, with “needing interaction” and “needing solitude” on either end, this type of introvert would fall more towards the former. The only difference between them and their extroverted counterparts is that they prefer social interactions that involve smaller groups of people. This is because they still have the overarching introverted trait of being drained by social interactions. What makes them more sociable than other types of introverts is that anxiety is not a barrier for them. The reason online dating works well for this type of introvert is that it doesn’t involve interacting with big groups of people at any one time, and it’s always a one-on-one experience. Because of this, social introverts will thrive!


The Thinking Introvert

This type of introvert could be seen as the rebel of the group. This is because they don’t have an aversion to social interactions of any size, unlike other introverts. What makes them “introverted” is their ability to be deeply introspective, thoughtful and reflective. So, this kind of introvert doesn’t neatly fit into the common perception of what an introvert is; while they may spend a lot of time in thought, that doesn’t hinder their social interactions. These thinkers then actually have a step up in the online dating world. Because they’re in a constant state of thinking, they are very imaginative and this makes them very interesting people to get to know, therefore, they stand out from the crowd.


The Anxious Introvert

These types of introverts are the closest you’ll get to the current stereotype; they’re socially awkward, very self-conscious and suffer debilitating social anxiety (hence the name). While the other types of introverts also suffer varying degrees of anxiety during social events, the difference between them and the anxious introvert is that that anxiety goes away once they are in solitude. For the anxious introvert, however, the anxiety gets heightened in their solitude as they repeatedly go over things in their minds. The online dating world for this type of introvert, can serve somewhat of an escape for them. If they allow it, it can be a place for them to forget their inhibitions without the anxiety of face-to-face interaction.   


The Reserved Introvert

This kind of introvert is categorised by their need to think before they speak or act. They’re not the sort to jump straight into an activity, instead they run and process things at a much slower pace. Because they are reserved, making new friends or getting into new relationships take a lot of time; as they’re slowly and deeply processing how they feel. Online dating is great for these types of introverts because a lot of people who are serious about finding someone to date tend to take it slow and get to know the person they’re speaking to before meeting them. This works so well with the reserved introvert’s way of life.

As you can see, online dating is not just made for the bold and extroverted among us, even an introvert (no matter which type you are) can find love in this online space.

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