The 5 Love Languages and How They Relate to You
Ever had an argument with your partner and wished you knew what they were thinking. Or perhaps there are some things they do to express their love that you just don’t understand. Believe it or not, there is a very simple reason behind it, and it is this; we all express, feel, and understand love differently. As Gary Chapman puts it, we all speak in different love languages. This is the subject matter in his book, Five Love Languages. While the book itself can seem a little fluffy and cheesy, it’s core message is a rather simple one to grasp; understand the love language your partner speaks in and you will learn understand your partner better. Now without further ado, here are the five Love Languages and how they can relate to you…
Words of Affirmation
This one is rather self explanatory. It is a language that uses positive words to affirm your love for your partner. For those who speak in this love language, words mean more than anything else. Hearing compliments or verbal affirmations of love is what truly reassures them of their partner’s devotion. On the flipside, negative comments and insults will cut incredibly deeply and not be easily forgotten. If your partner speaks this love language, make sure to consistently compliment them and express your adoration for them. When you do this, you will notice that they will become much more connected and closer to you.
Unlike speakers of the previous language, words don’t mean much to those who speak the love language of quality time. For them, it’s all about getting undivided attention from their partner when they spend time with them. For people who speak this love language, being the main focus of their partner’s attention is what comforts them and reassures their faith in their relationship. The worst thing to happen to speakers of this love language is when their partner is distracted or not listening when they speak, or even worse so, constantly postponing dates. Should your partner speak this love language, make sure to make an effort to spend quality time with them and make sure you aren’t distracted when you’re with them.
This love language may seem to some like nothing more than pure materialism but it’s about so much more than just receiving things. For the speakers of this love language, a thoughtful gift or gesture from their partner shows them that they are cared for and prized above anything else. So it’s not about showering them with expensive gifts that were thoughtlessly picked out but rather, showing them that you know who they are by gifting them with things you know they will love. The worst thing to do to a speaker of this language is to miss a birthday or anniversary, or to let the kind daily gestures fall by the wayside. If your partner speaks this language, make sure to surprise them with thoughtful gestures and gifts even when it’s not a special occasion.
Acts of Service
Actions speak louder than words and no truer words have been said about any other love language. For the speakers of this love language, having their partner help lighten their burden by helping out with their responsibilities is what matters the most. Lending a helping hand whenever possible is what will win them over. On the flipside of that, speakers of this language do not deal well with broken or empty promises, perceived laziness, or anyone making more work for them. Should your partner speak this love language, make sure to help out whenever you can even an especially when your partner doesn’t ask for it.
No this isn’t about sexual touch. This love language is about having everyday physical connections like handholding, kissing, or any other positive touch that will reaffirm their love for their partner. While the speaker of this language may not be fully into full-throttle PDA, a little lovey-doveyness here and there will help them feel loved and safe and secure in their relationship. It goes without saying that any kind of physical abuse is a total no-no for speakers of this love language (and for anyone, really). If your partner speaks the language of physical touch, make sure to hug and kiss them as often as you can, and show your appropriate physical affection to them when you are in public.
Now that you know what the five love languages are, find out yours and your partner’s love language here.