This Time, Maybe It Is You...
Have you had a series of first dates that never lead to more? Or have you been ghosted way too many times than you’d like to admit? Do you tell yourself that it’s always the other person’s fault; that they just didn’t appreciate you or that they had some sort of commitment phobia? Well I’m here to tell you that maybe it might not be somebody else’s fault after all. Maybe, just maybe it might have something to do with you and how you interact with your dates that’s just not working out. So without further ado, here are a few reasons you may be scaring away potential love interests…
You get attached way too quickly
Are you the kind of person to start acting like a boyfriend/girlfriend after the first date? Do you get weirdly obsessive and want to see them every other day after the second date? If you answered yes to either of those, then chances are you probably have some form of attachment disorder. The truth is, people generally take a significant amount of time to fall for someone. And if their potential love interest is showing intense, relentless affection within the first few dates, it’s very likely that they would read that as some sort of red flag.
You act (unintentionally) mean
Perhaps you’re just trying to play it cool or you feel like you need to knock them down a peg, but for whatever reason being mean to your date will never work out in your favour. We’re not in elementary school anymore. You can’t be mean to your potential love interest and expect them fall for you. Think about it, would you fall head over heels for someone who constantly berates and belittles you? Yea, I didn’t think so.
You talk down about yourself
Do you point out all your flaws to your date in an effort to appear down-to-earth, honest, and transparent? Well, it’s backfiring and here’s why. Being humble is one thing but if you’re constantly disparaging yourself, it can come across as just fishing for compliments. Even if you sincerely have self-esteem issues, the first few dates isn’t the time to discuss such intimate details. Sure, make one or two light hearted jokes at your own expense, or even talk briefly about one of your insecurities, but don’t go overboard with it or your date’s going to see right through you and start running for the hills.
You talk yourself up
Yes, this is the polar opposite of the point above but it needs to be said. Dating (especially during the first few dates) is a delicate balancing act. Yes, go ahead and talk about the great aspects of your life but don’t be obnoxious about it and be humble; don’t talk up every single mildly impressive part of your life. Afterall, it’s better to let your potential partner discover your awesomeness gradually and in time; this will create a much more genuine connection.
So there you have it, if you exhibit any of the aforementioned behaviours then maybe it’s time to admit that it is actually you. All hope is not lost though, just remember to keep your feelings, your manners and your ego in check and you’ll be going on your second date in no time! Or if all else fails, sign up for Jodi and try again with someone new!