Dealing with the Friend Zone
So, you’ve found yourself in the dreaded and loathed friend zone; the deep dark hole where romantic dreams go to die a slow painful death. Whether you’ve been given the “you’re one of the guys” line, the “I see you as my best friend” line or worse, the “I think of you as a sibling” line, being involuntarily thrown into the friend zone hurts like hell. There are few things worse than having feelings for someone only to know that they’ll never feel the same for you. That being said, I am here to tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel, if and only if you follow these steps to dealing with being in the friend zone…
Respect their decision
The very first thing you have to acknowledge in your journey to recovery is that everybody has the right to choose who to be romantically involved with. You have to respect that right and not try to convince them to change their mind; because 1, that’s just sad, and 2, that’s desperate as hell. Also remember, just as they have every right to reject a romantic relationship, you have every right to reject a friendship if that’s what you feel is best.
Determine exactly how you’re feeling
As we all know, feelings can vary in degree; from silly little crush to I’d-take-a-bullet-for-you love. Ask yourself where your feelings lie for this person. Would you be able to handle hanging around them knowing they don’t (and won’t) love you in that way? Would you lose your mind the moment they start dating someone new? These are the questions you have to consider before deciding how to move forward with your friendship. The answers to these questions are what will determine your approach, which leads us to the next points…
Take a breather
Having your heart broken by someone who considers you a friend is a very odd position to be in and sometimes the best way to deal with it is just to walk away from the situation. Whether that means walking away for good or just taking a break from the friendship is entirely up to you. Really think about your friendship and consider whether it’s worth the risk losing this person forever. If your answer to that is “no”, read on…
Actually be their friend
So, you’ve decided to stick it out and not abandon the friendship, good for you! While it’s great that you don’t want to give up on it, to ensure the survival of your friendship, you have to ask yourself why. Is it because you actually consider this person a genuine friend, or is it because you think that by sticking around you’ll increase your chances of this person falling for you? If it’s the latter, please do yourself and this person a favour and move on.
Look, the friend zone sucks, we all know that but it’s completely within our power to deal with it gracefully and respectfully. So, let’s do so. And if you find yourself in the friend zone, start with a clean slate and find love on Jodi!